Comparison of Religious Theory in the Late 20th Century

Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.

Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

Orthodox Judaism - Our toys are the only Kosher toys.

Greek Orthodox - They were our toys first.

Messianic Judaism - No, they were OURS first.

Russian Orthodox - Our toys are the only legally correct toys.

Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

Atheism - There is no toy maker.

Polytheism - There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism - The toys made themselves from less complicated models.

Church of Christ Scientist - Toys are us.

Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch
you selling yours.

B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.

Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.

Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!

Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.

Presbyterian - My toys were custom made for rne by the toymaker.

Evangelical Free - Would you like to play with some of my toys?

7th Day Advcntist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.

Baptist - Once played, always played.

Family of God -I got toys. You got toys. All God's children got toys.

Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.

Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.

Charismaticism - Talk! Big deal. Our toys laugh and fall down!

Methodist - Now which toy do we play with next?

Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.

Episcopalian - Once a toy is sprinkled with water it wins.

United Pentecostal - Not wet enough and only our toys have the right name.

Third Wave - Our toys dance and sing the coolest songs!

Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.

Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.

Unitarianism - Oh the joy of any toy, or not.