you know you drink too much coffee . . .

* You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
* You answer the door before people knock.
* You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
* You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
* You sleep with your eyes open.
* You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
* You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
* You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
* You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
* You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
* The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
* You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
* All your kids are named "Joe."
* Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
* You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
* People get dizzy just watching you.
* When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."
* The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
* You're so wired, you pick up FM radio.
* Instant coffee takes too long.
* When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
* Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
* You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
* You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
* You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
* You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
* You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
* You don't tan, you roast.
* You don't get mad, you get steamed.
* Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before and coffee after.
* You can't even remember your second cup.
* You help your dog chase its tail.
* You introduce your spouse as your "Coffeemate."
* You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
* You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.