Jesus is watching you

A burglar broke into a house one night just before Christmas. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables and presents under the tree. When he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, “Jesus is watching you.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more fenceable items. Just as he disconnected the stereo’s wires, clear as a bell, he heard, “Jesus is watching you.” Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in one corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.

“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.”

The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who the heck are you?”

“Moses,” replied the bird.

“Moses!” the burglar laughed. “What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?”

The bird promptly answered: “Probably the same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.”